This is not a Compliment

A compliment is a polite expression of praise or admiration for someone.

Compliments are meant to make people feel good about themselves but sometimes, people ruin the graceful act of complimenting with either their choice of words, insensitivities or out of ignorance.

Some of the comments often made as a compliment which may come off rude, insensitive or disrespectful are:

“You’ve gained weight” – Many people are struggling with weight issues and find if very difficult to loose weight despite their efforts. For some, it even takes a toll on their emotional well-being and self-esteem. Reminding them of their struggle and insecurities may be offensive and may even be taken personally. Totally avoid it.

“You cleaned up well” – A person can say this about themselves but you shouldn’t say it to them. They already know.

“You look good today” – Implies they didn’t look good the last time you saw them and maybe every other time.

“You look good for your age” – Implying that people that age shouldn’t look as good.

“You’re so kind for a man” – This is sexist, being kind isn’t gender biased.

“You’re too good to be single” – Being single could be a matter of choice not because no one found them good enough.

“You’re so smart for a woman” – This is sexist, women aren’t generally dump.

“You look skinny” – Just as in weight gaining, some people struggle with constant weight loss. If a person hadn’t discussed a weight loss regiment they’re on and asked for your opinion, simply avoid the topic. If there’s an obvious difference in their appearance, leave it at you look good or you could say you kinda look different and let them be the ones to tell you what they think is different.

The worst part of these rude comments is that, the recipient is expected to react pleasantly and not take offence despite the hurt they may feel. It therefore creates an awkward situation for both parties.

Therefore, before you speak, think! You want to leave a person feeling better about themselves, not worse.

What other rude comments do you hear or get? Please share in the comment section.

Keep it classy always.

Etienying Akpanusong. 

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